


Poptarts and Vodka Shots

by april_zephyr (April_Zephyr)



Category: Roswell (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Best Friends, Enemies to Friends, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Old Friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 04:00:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/961325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/April_Zephyr/pseuds/april_zephyr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day started off stranger than usual. Tess wasn’t usually this clumsy, first she managed to spill water on herself and now here she was falling, slipping on the not so dry floor. Why didn’t she listen to Liz and watch movies with her all day? But no, instead she insisted on buying lunch and groceries for the two because living off donuts and pretzel sticks was obviously not good for their healths. The impact of her back smacking the floor wasn’t as painful as she expected, thank god she didn’t smack her head.<br/>“Are you okay?” A voice asked.</p>
<p>“Do I look okay?” Tess growled, she never understood why people insisted on asking obvious questions like: Did you cut your hair? Is that a new shirt? Did you steal my fries? What’s that on your face? Did you just kiss my husband?</p>
<p>“Not at all.” The voice sniggered, helping her to her feet.</p>
<p>“Jesus! Why are you so mean to me?” Tess asked, noticing that the owner of the voice was none other than Michael Guerin.</p>
<p>“Michael, not Jesus.” Michael smirked, his oh so douche-y smile, “So Tessa, what brings you round this part of town? We were told to avoid your apartment like the plague so you two could have your “special” time.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poptarts and Vodka Shots

**Author's Note:**

> So I really wanted to write a Roswell fanfic where Tess and Liz were buddies. I never really liked it when they turned Tess into the bad-guy because she was my favourite character (something you can tell if you have read Frothy).
> 
> I am really sorry for the abrupt ending, but I really wanted to post it. I might add more to it in the future :)
> 
> Love y'all!!!

The day started off stranger than usual. Tess wasn’t usually this clumsy, first she managed to spill water on herself and now here she was falling, slipping on the not so dry floor. Why didn’t she listen to Liz and watch movies with her all day? But no, instead she insisted on buying lunch and groceries for the two because living off donuts and pretzel sticks was obviously not good for their healths. The impact of her back smacking the floor wasn’t as painful as she expected, thank god she didn’t smack her head.  
“Are you okay?” A voice asked.

“Do I look okay?” Tess growled, she never understood why people insisted on asking obvious questions like: Did you cut your hair? Is that a new shirt? Did you steal my fries? What’s that on your face? Did you just kiss my husband?

“Not at all.” The voice sniggered, helping her to her feet.

“Jesus! Why are you so mean to me?” Tess asked, noticing that the owner of the voice was none other than Michael Guerin.

“Michael, not Jesus.” Michael smirked, his oh so douche-y smile, “So Tessa, what brings you round this part of town? We were told to avoid your apartment like the plague so you two could have your “special” time.”

“We needed food, you know having extreme amounts of unnecessary sex does that to a person. She tastes delicious by the way.” Tess drawled, she knew that he would report back to his “brother”. His brother Max happen to be the the jerk-face that tried to have a bit of fun with Liz over the fall. Tess didn’t trust him at all.

“I never pegged you for the type to bat for the same team.” Michael grinned, “Do you need help with those bags?”

“I knew there was a reason I loved you.” Tess breathed, watching Michael lift the bags with ease.

“You only love me when I do things for you.”

“Well Mike-y, you offered your manly muscles.” Tess laughed, smacking his back a few times as she lead him out of the cafe.

“Be glad that midget blondes are my weakness.” Michael declared in amusement as he continued to walk Tess back to her and Liz’s apartment.

“I’m not that short.”

“5’2” is pretty short.”

“Freak. Why do you know my height?”

“Because I measured you for that science experiment? How do you not remember this?”

“Maybe because that was years ago.” Tess laughed, “Well this is my stop and as you know you were told to avoid it like the plague so I suggest you turn around right now.”

“No goodbyes?”

“Bye Guerin!” She smiled, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. Tess then continued to pry the bags out of his hands.

“Have fun.” He responded, waving as he continued walking.

As soon as Tess walked into the house Liz was there quickly walking towards her and raising an elegant brow. Tess placed the bags in the kitchen as Liz continued to follow her around like a lost puppy.  
“Can I have a shower first and then explain?” Tess asked bluntly.

“Why don’t you have a shower and explain at the same time?” Liz countered, smiling knowingly when Tess rolled her eyes.

“We are far too comfortable around each other.” Tess sighed in defeat, finding a shirt and pair of shorts to wear after her shower.

“So strange considering the fact I hated you as a child.” Liz laughed, following Tess as she made her way into the bathroom.

“The feeling was mutual.” Tess grinned shrugging her clothes off and entering the shower. Liz just sat on the toilet seat and opened a magazine.

“Until we ended up in bed together naked with no recollection of what happened.”

“Strange.” Tess smiled, turning the shower on, “Holy Fuck! Did you use all the hot water?”

“No! It was like that when I went in!”

“I’ll have to call someone to fix it.”

“Michael’s good with fixing stuff.”

“So is a plumber considering the fact that it’s he gets paid to fix stuff.”

“But Michael will do it for free.”

“We’re taking advantage of him.”

“He loves us.” Liz stated, waiting a few minutes for Tess to get out of the shower and get dressed, “So?”

“We’re not calling him...”

“He’ll look better than a plumber and you know it.”

“So you want me to call Michael so that we can see him get wet?”

“Of course.”

“That’s awfully strange of you considering the fact that you were dry humping his ‘bro’ in the fall.”

“That was once and I was extremely drunk.”

“What happened to being gay?”

“I thought I was gay... But I’m not?”

“Probably because Valenti broke you with his dick. You thought that he would be tiny in order to compensate for his attractiveness.” Tess cackled, dragging Liz to the couch.

“The most horrific virginity loss...” Liz stated, shuddering at the thought of it.

“Losing your virginity doesn’t always tend to be awesome.”

“I bet it was for you.”

“It was pretty sweet, probably one of the most romantic experiences I’ve ever experienced. We did it in an observatory, under the stars.”

“Really? We did it in my room and it was pretty romantic but kind of traumatizing.”

“So how is Deluca doing?”

“My loss of virginity reminds you of Maria?”

“Well because you and Maria had a fight because you didn’t think to tell your best friend that you got laid.”

“You knew when I had sex?”

“Of course. You weren’t exactly subtle.”

“So who did you lose your virginity to? You seem to know about my experience far too well.”

“Well of course I know about it. You’re very honest when you’re drunk.”

“I can’t believe you took advantage of my not so sober self.”

“Fine! I’ll call Michael, are you happy?”

“Yeah!” Liz laughed, “Can we start watching Twilight?”

“This is the last time I’m letting you pick a film. I swear that I will kick you out if you suggest another film that involves sparkly vampires..”

“I was just kidding. Can we watch Easy A.”

“I love that film.”

“After that, you’re calling Michael.”

“You’re the one that wants him to do it. So you’re calling.”

“But you’re his favorite.”

“I hate you so much right now.”

“I love you too babe.”

“Keep your pants on.” Tess laughed, starting the film.

As usual Emma Stone rocked the socks off of Liz and Tess as they ate curly fries as a quick snack. They were both dressed in shorts and spaghetti straps. How the hell was Michael going to deal with that?  
“Liz I think we should change into sweats.”

“No. We’re wearing what we would normally wear when we’re home alone. Michael doesn’t deserve special treatment.”

“Fine.” Tess sighed, picking up her mobile and calling Michael, “Hey Mikey can you come over? The shower’s been acting up?”

**“You only call when you need something.”**

“I’ll make you food.”

**“I’ll be there in 15.”**

“See ya.” Tess laughed, hanging up the phone.

“So?”

“He’ll be here in 15.”

“Awesome. So what are you cooking?”

“We’re going to cook pasta.”

“So damn lazy.”

“It’s better than a pop tart.”

“That was once.”

“Liz, a romantic date involves cooking actual food. It’s not surprise that he never came back.” Tess laughed, getting the ingredients and equipment she needed.

“If you must know, I actually told him not to come back.”

“Keep telling yourself that.” Tess grinned, as she waited for the pasta to cook.

“How does that count as cooking? You have ready made sauce!” Liz groaned, as she started to heat up the sauce.

“Do you know how long it takes to make sauce? We don’t even have any tomatoes.”

“Isn’t this far too much for three people?” Liz asked curiously.

“Well you’ve seen how Michael eats and we’re going to be able to live off of this for the remaining part of the week.”

“Why can’t we have fresh food?”

“Liz! You ask far too many questions. Now it’s time for me to ask you a question. Are you willing to cook on a daily basis so that we don’t have to cook in bulk?”

“Oh hell no! You’ll be the one cooking.”

“That’s not lady like. You two should be splitting cooking duties between the two of you.” Michael laughed as he entered the kitchen, it wasn’t until he was completely in that the two girls managed to catch the other figure with him. It was none other than Max Evans, the brunette was as handsome as Tess had remembered him to be. His hair had grown considerably longer and Tess had an urge to run her hands through his locks.

“You could have at least knocked.” Tess sighed, turning her attention to the other male before turning back to Max, “Hey Max!”

“Hi. I hope that I’m not intruding, Michael told me that he would need my help.”

“Of course not!” Liz smiled, “We made enough food to feed an army.”

“You mean I made enough food to feed an army.”

“I heated the sauce!”

“Exactly! I got all the dirty work of cooking the pasta and mixing the sauce in.”

“Did you make the spaghetti that used to make in high school?” Max asked curiously as he walked over to the bowl of pasta and took a curious sniff.

“Well not exactly like the one that I used to make in high school. This one was made with an already made sauce.”

“That’s a shame.”

“I swear you only used to hang around with me so that you could enjoy my cooking.” Tess smiled, slapping Max’s shoulder slightly with the back of her hand.

“Wait. You two used to hang out in high school?” Liz asked, curiously.

“How far back are you Elizabeth Parker?” Michael asked, laughing at the bewildered facial expression of the girl, “Max and Tess here used to date. This kinda feel like a really weird high school reunion.”

“Seriously! Why didn’t you tell me anything?” Liz asked Tess, frowning at her friend’s amused face.

“Because it’s fun to see you learn something new about me everyday.”

“So. Was he the guy that you lost your virginity to?”

“Oh wow. I don’t really want to hear who deflowered my little Tessy.” Michael laughed, earning an appreciative glance from the petite blonde.

“I think we should eat the pasta before it gets too cold.” Tess smiled, taking her seat at the table. Liz sat directly opposite of Tess, whereas Max and Michael took their places beside her. After a few minutes after everyone finished eating, Liz held Tess’ gaze, this always meant that bad things where going to happen.

“Have you had sex with Michael.” Liz asked seriously.

“No she has not had sex with me! That goes against the bro code.” Michael spluttered, turning to his bro who’s eyes widened as he continuously looked between the two.

“I don’t see Michael like that.” Tess sighed, she knew this was going to happen one day. She ran her hand through her in a frustrated manner before she lifted herself off the seat and started gathering the plates. 

“Dude was I just friendzoned?” Michael asked incredulously, earning a hearty laugh from Max who also followed suit in Tess’ movement.

“Let me at least help you with the washing.” Max grinned, following the blonde to the sink.

“That was the deal while we were dating. I would cook, you would wash. We’re not dating.” Tess laughed.

“A deals a deal. A relationship status shouldn’t really determine the outcome of a deal.” Max smiled, gently moving the girl away from the sink, “Maybe this is my way to say that you should help Michael out with fixing the shower.”

“Nope. You just want to wash the plates because you don’t want to be wet from head to toe.”

“And?” Max laughed as he started to wash the plates. He was always good at cleaning stuff, one of the pros of dating Max was that he wouldn’t allow any mess around the house and would often clean up straight away, not like the average male teen.

“My body is ready.” Liz screamed huskily.

“Damn shorty, I didn’t know you were into me. Last I heard was that you went for girls.”

“Urgh. Okay, my body is so not ready anymore.” Liz sighed, “Max you go be a man and help Michael out with the shower.”

“Let me finish the dishes and then I’ll go help.” Max groaned, finishing the last dish and wiping his hand clean with the dish towel. When Max and Michael disappeared to the bathroom, Liz turned to look at her friend knowingly.

“We are not having this conversation.” Tess stated, taking the words out of the girl’s mouth.

“Yes we are. So is this why you were weirded out by me almost hooking up with Max.”

“No. I just didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“He hurt the infamous heartbreaker?”

“He didn’t hurt me. I just thought it would be one of those drunk college hook ups.”

“So that’s the only thing you were worried about?”

“Yes. I’m not like you, I didn’t react extremely weird when Kyle started banging Isabel.”

“Kyle was my first everything. You can’t expect me to have not reacted when he went for Isabel.”

“Michael was okay with it.”

“That’s because they were rebounding on each other when Maria and Alex hooked up. It wasn’t anything serious.”

“They have a child together.”

“So what? They were in an open kind of relationship and it wasn’t as emotionally exhausting for them.”

“Can we not talk about this.”

“I just want you to be okay. You seem to have the hots for Max again by the looks of it.” Liz sighed. The two girls were interrupted by two loud male bellows and “What the fucks”, followed by the loud thumping of feet to the ground.  
“OPEN THE DOOR!” Michael barked as he ran, followed by Max who looked as white as a sheet.

“Are you guys okay?” Tess asked, as Liz opened the door and looked at the two curiously.

“There was a snake in your restroom.” Michael groaned.

“What do you mean there was? It’s not slithering around the house is it?” Tess screamed.

“Nope. I have it right here.” Max breathed, showing the girls the snake he was currently clasping. The girls recoiled and almost tripped over their own feet.

“Jesus! Max take it out already.” Michael shrieked, appearing to be the one that was less composed in the situation.

“I don’t want to get bitten!”

“Let me check the tail.” Liz sighed, “Billy the Exterminator’s advice tells me that it’s not poisonous.”

“I don’t care. I don’t want to get bitten either way.” Max frowned.

“Just toss it over a bush or something.” Tess cried.

“Fine.” Max groaned. The young adult sped out of the house and the trio inside clutched their chest as they let out a breath of relief. When the young adult re-entered the house he was practically beaming.

“Are you okay?” Tess asked cautiously, going to male to check for any gashes or bites.

“I’m perfectly fine. Good thing is that we managed to fix your shower.”

“Are you joking? You’re seriously lucky to have not been bitten.”

“Aw are you guys having a moment here? Is Tessy being the wife that worries about her husband’s health and safety?”

“Fuck off Michael! At least Max has more balls than you when it comes to snakes.”

“That proves nothing about balls. That was just plain suicidal, I mean it could have been poisonous.”

“Hahaha! You shrieked!” Liz laughed, clutching her abdomen as laughter just leaked out like a broken faucet.

“It’s not funny!” Michael protested.

“I just remembered something!” Tess yelled hysterically, drawing the attention of the other three.

“Don’t do this to me Tessy! I love you and everything but you have too much dirt on me!”

“Of course I do! You’re my best male friend Guerin.” Tess laughed, “You remember when you went through that whole rocker-punk phase?”

“Max went through the exact same thing! It just lasted for a shorter period of time.”

“That’s not what I was getting to!” Tess grinned, turning to Max whose face contorted into recognition.

“There was this time when you were really out of it. You hadn’t slept like the whole night and we ate some dodgy leaves... But you made out with someone.” Max grinned, resting his arm on Tess’ shoulders.

“Please tell me it wasn’t you.”

“No. It was Liz.” Max laughed, turning to face Liz, “You probably didn’t recognize him with all the spikes and different hair colors.”

“That was you!!!” Liz screamed, facing the adult.

“I’m sorry!!!” Michael apologized, “You ate them too Max! Who were you kissing on?”

“Haha” Tess laughed as she caught her ex’s reddened face, “He was making out with his own reflection.”

“I knew you were secretly a narcissist!” Michael laughed, “You know you and Tessy should try give it another go.”

“Michael!” Tess scolded.

“I think we should give it another go.” Max grinned, looking at the blonde who brightened up and nodded her head slowly in an affirmative motion.

“Aww! This so ridiculously adorable” Liz smiled.

“Is it okay with you if Liz stays with you tonight Mikey?” Tess asked, blushing profusely.

“Woah. That’s a bit too fast, you and loverboy seriously can’t be wanting to hook up already.”

“Michael.”

“I get it. You guys want to catch up.” Michael laughed, “Lets go Effy!”

“Michael! I like being called Liz!” Liz groaned as she walked out of the apartment with Michael in tow, “We don’t have anymore condoms! I thought I would warn you before you got too into it.”

"Bye guys"

**Fin**


End file.
